Some guys are lucky when it comes to getting a girl’s attraction. For some, it just seems to be effortless. If you’re a Brad Pitt lookalike for example, it’s unlikely you’re going to have too much trouble wooing women. But then again, as the saying goes, beauty is only skin deep. Personality is the most important thing. The majority of women on the planet are sure to testify to that. That’s good news for most of us guys out there, as it means we all have a shot at getting the girl we’re attracted to to reciprocate those feelings.
Whether you’re a smooth operator or a bumbling buffoon, you can use these psychological tricks to increase your chances of getting the girl you like to be attracted to you. You’re going to encounter some science as you go through this article, but don’t worry, it won’t be as if Sheldon Cooper’s talking to you. You’ll be able to get a grip on these basic principles and use them to become a dating Casanova and woo the girl you’re interested in. And another thing: don’t worry about whether these tricks will make you sleazy. These psychological tricks are all ethical and are certainly not manipulative in any way. Using them will hopefully make the girl you’re into become subconsciously attracted to you, and then things can develop from there. Without much further ado, here are 15 psychological tricks that will get a girl to be attracted to you. Read and start working your magic. Thank me later!
15. Mirroring The Other Person’s Body Language
This is the first and probably most well-known psychological trick in the golden dating handbook: mirroring. The aim here is to make her think that you’re both in sync with each other. Do this by essentially copying her behavior. For example, when she runs a finger through her hair, you do the same. When she takes a sip of her drink, you do too. Mimicking facial expressions is also key to making her think you’re in sync. It’s known by some researchers – yes, this stuff has been researched! – as the “Chameleon Effect.” This type of mimicry facilitates a form of attraction. But it’s important to make it clear that this mimicry should be subtle mimicry. Make it too obvious, and in all likelihood, she’ll think you’re a weirdo and run for the hills. Stick with facial expressions – she smiles, you smile, she acts sad, you show sadness, you get my drift – and you’ll be fine. We actually unconsciously do this anyway, so without knowing it, you could already be putting it into practice.
14. The Consistency Bias
This basically refers to getting the girl you’re trying to attract to do something for you. For all you people smirking, get your minds out of the gutter. I don’t mean anything dirty. I mean get her to do something simple for you. For example, ask her if you can borrow her phone to make a call. If you’re at work or at college, ask her to lend you a pencil. Simple things like that can make a difference. Why? Because if you do something for someone, the brain thinks that because you’re doing something for them, you must like them. So, ask the girl you like for a simple favor of some kind, and subconsciously, she’ll begin to like you. The founding father of the U.S. Benjamin Franklin actually used this technique to gain trust amongst his political rivals. And where does this consistency bias come into it? If she does something for you once, she’s more likely to want to do things for you again because she wants to remain consistent. This is gold, folks.
13. Be A Casanova
This one is a straightforward way to get a girl to be attracted to you. But having said that, you’d be surprised at how many people make a real hash of it. Being a Casanova basically means making the girl you’re attracted to feel special. You’ve got to appeal to her senses. One way to do this is by showering her with compliments. Don’t lay it on too thick, but drop the odd compliment in here and there, and that level of attraction is just going to grow. By complimenting her, you are basically telling her that you like her. It’ll make her feel special, and this will hopefully result in her liking you too. Compliments trigger excitement and emotions by tapping into the reward center of the brain. So, giving her a compliment will make the brain feel that she’s received a reward. Being rewarded is hugely gratifying. Everyone wants to receive rewards, so after receiving a compliment she’ll want more, and in an effort to do so, is likely to be nicer to you. Sparks could fly and attraction could grow.
12. Eat Spicy Food Together
This one might seem pretty weird, but it could have an effect. Say you’re taking a girl out on a date. Most people would stick to safe places. There aren’t many who’d take her to a place where you could dive into hot wings or a similar dish. But that could actually work. Not just hot wings, but any type of spicy food. If she’s made it clear that she doesn’t like spicy food, then this could present a problem; don’t ignore her preferences and try and ram something spicy down her throat. Needless to say, that’s not going to go down well. But simply dining out on spicy food can get the pulse racing. It has a similar effect on the heat rate as it would if she was attracted to you. It’ll basically increase her level of excitement, and she’ll associate that feeling with being with you, which could increase her attraction towards you.
11. Give Her The Reins And Ask As Many Questions About Her As Possible
A lot of women would say that they like to be with a guy that takes charge. That’s all well and good, but it’s vitally important not to take it too far and be so self-assured that it comes across as cockiness. Being cocky and coming across as arrogant is never a good thing. You need to make her feel like she’s in charge. Steer the conversation towards her and let her take over the reins. Getting her to talk about herself is step one. It’s inherently rewarding and stimulates the pleasure centers of the brain. So, she’ll associate this feeling through her interactions with you. Another tip is to act a little shy. This doesn’t mean be socially awkward. Just, for example, when you receive a compliment, be humble, act a tad embarrassed, even blush. It’s another thing that’ll make it seem like she’s in charge, and it could make any potential relationship form faster.
10. Gentle Contact
Now, of course, for this one you’ve got to be a good judge of character. You need to know if she’s even the slightest bit into you. If not, even gentle contact, including touching her hand for example ever so slightly, could make her swat your hand away. You don’t want that. Also, when I say gentle contact, I do mean gentle contact. Touching her hand equates to gentle contact – not grabbing it. When you’re walking, perhaps put your hand gently behind her back. This sensual touch may create a feeling of arousal, and make her feel more warmly towards you. But I must reiterate, there’s a line that mustn’t be crossed. Use your heads, guys. Groping is not gentle contact, nor is touching her thigh. That could actually constitute assault. You want there to be a form or attraction between the two of you, not repulsion.
9. The Self-Verification Theory
This psychological theory proposes that people want other people to see them as they see themselves. Confused? Hopefully I can clear things up for you. For example, if the woman you’re with is really strong and independent, she’d want you to see her in that light too. Your self-worth and what people think of you really can in turn affect your emotions. It’s necessary, as people need to know what others think of them is the way they think of themselves. They need to seek confirmation. If the girl receives this confirmation from you, she’ll maintain her positive self-worth, and will remember you for making her feel that way. She’ll be able to be herself around you, will feel positive towards you and will be comfortable in your company. Use self-verification and it’ll develop trust and the desired behavior, which in your case, would be her showing affection towards you, being attracted to you.
8. Spend Some Time In The Friend Zone
I know for a lot of guys, this can be seriously hard to do. You’re attracted to someone and want them to be attracted to you, so that you can both take your relationship to the next level. But you don’t always have to dive into things. Think about this logically for a second. If you want a relationship with someone, isn’t it best to try and get to know them first, and connect with them on a friend to friend level before taking the next step? It’s a fact that a lot of romances blossom after a couple are friends first. When you are in the friend zone, the girl will get to know you, be comfortable around you, and know you care. Also, it will give her time to perhaps develop an attraction towards you. Sometimes attraction isn’t instantaneous; it builds up over time. It could be an idea to invest some time establishing a friendship first, then see where things take you. If your relationship does take off, you’re likely to have more success too.
7. Be A Tad Mysterious
Have you ever heard that it’s always good to keep some mystery in a relationship? Well, that holds true even during the formation of what you hope would be a blossoming romance, during the initial stages when you’re trying to establish an attraction. I’m not saying don’t divulge anything at all. You’ll be having a pretty boring conversation if that was the case. But don’t go putting everything on the table right away by expelling all your likes and dislikes right at the start. Some people do that when they’re nervous, and just continuously talk, and what they inadvertently end up doing is telling her their life stories. Leave something back. What you leave back is up to you, but make it interesting. It could be something you’ve done in the past perhaps, a phase of your life or an experience. Doing this will create intrigue. There’ll be an air of mystery about you. Naturally, her inquisitive mind will make her want to find out more about you, and therefore meet you again.
6. Share A Secret
Self-disclosure is the basis for which any decent relationship is built on. You could ask her to share a secret with you. But you’ve got to judge the situation and see if she’s up for it. If not, and if you’re okay with it, you should share a secret of your own. And try and make it something personal. This might seem like an odd thing to do, but it certainly helps form an attraction. There have been numerous studies looking into this. These studies usually involve pairing people off with each other, and then they both share secrets and ask questions. Those who asked each other personal questions, later revealed feeling closer to their partner. Asking such questions and sharing such secrets establishes a greater connection than just engaging in small talk. Try this out, but don’t just drop a massive secret in there right away. Judge the situation. It’s a good idea to build things up gradually. Start off with small talk. Then gradually progress to the point where you both feel comfortable sharing intimate information with each other. This will certainly make you seem closer and will make her feel attracted to you. It’ll also mean that she feels like she could confide in you in the future. But of course, you have to show that you’re capable of keeping her secret, otherwise all the level of trust you’ve worked so hard to build would just go out the window.
5. Exude Positivity
Be upbeat, jovial and friendly. Exude positivity and display positive emotions. You must have experienced this yourself. If you’ve been around people who are generally happy, you get sucked in and they lift your mood. You want to spend more time with those people. On the flip side to that, if the person you’re with is downbeat and miserable, they’ll bring you down to their level, and you’ll leave that situation feeling more depressed. It’s a term known as emotional contagion. This basically means your emotions trigger similar emotions in the person you’re with. Show love – it may be a bit too soon for love, but you get my drift! – and affection, just be positive and smiley, and the girl you’re with will hopefully begin to feel the same. She’ll unconsciously feel and display similar emotions, because people naturally mimic other people’s behaviors and emotions. So, be positive and hopefully you’ll get a positive outcome.
4. Drop Hints About Your True Passion
Don’t divulge everything about yourself right away. But dropping hints here and there about what you’re really into will create intrigue and get her to ask more. Then when she does, you can start to reveal different facets of your personality. Ensure you mention something you’re passionate about, a hobby, or something you love to do in your spare time. And I mean something you really love. Don’t just tell her about something you like to do. If you love something, like playing the guitar, for example, you’ll speak about it differently because it’s not just run-of-the-mill stuff for you. Hopefully she’ll be attentive and will see the sparkle in your eye. Then, hopefully for you, sparks will fly. Women just love guys who have skills too. They don’t want to be around a mundane guy who has nothing going on. You need to make her see that you have a life, that there’s something that gets you going. Then she might just want to come along and join you.
3. Look Into Her Eyes
Firstly, eye contact is just good manners. If you’re with a girl on a date and can’t look her in the eye, it shows your lack of interest, or the fact that you’re not confident. It also just comes across as rude. Those feelings of attraction towards you aren’t going to grow if you can’t even make eye contact. But eye contact is also essential because if you want her to know that you like her, she’ll see it in your eyes. Maintaining eye contact also signifies you’re interested and want to know more about her. If she keeps eye contact too, it could signify that you too intrigue her. There’s another safe zone that you can stick too: the lips. Looking at the lips every now and then is a form of sensual seduction, and lets her know that you want to kiss her. This works both ways. If she keeps looking at your lips, it screams that there’s attraction there and she wants to kiss you, unless off course you’ve got something nasty on your lips and she’s subtly letting you know!
2. Fragrant Attraction
You’d be amazed at how simple things like smelling good can affect her brain and lead to attraction. It really is a simple thing, but it’s staggering how many people neglect to do the basics. If you’re meeting a girl you like, don’t meet her smelling foul in yesterday’s clothes. Have a shower, scrub yourself thoroughly with soap, use shampoo, then spray some deodorant. Don’t go overboard with the deodorant though, as this could be a turn off. It’s fairly obviously that if you smell good, she’s more likely to be attracted to you. There are aromatic aphrodisiacs out there, fragrances a woman could find enchanting. Smelling good will also help you. If you smell good, you’re more likely to exude confidence, be more charming, follow the other tips on this list, and that will rub off on your date. She could find you alluring, simply because of the fragrance you wear.
1. Find Something Funny You Can Both Laugh About
Ask any girl about the best quality she wants to see in a guy. Most of them won’t go for looks, jobs, or anything like that. For the majority of girls, having a good sense of humor is the number one quality. Have the ability to make a girl laugh, and you’re well on your way to having that attraction reciprocated. You don’t need to be a comedian, just have a sense of humor. This is especially important when it comes to your first interactions with her. Be humorous, and she’ll associate interacting with you with fun and exciting times. And it doesn’t just have to be what you say either. It could be what you both do. Doing a silly little task on a first date is not only a great way to break the ice. Studies have shown that participating in a fun activity could make her like you more. For example, do a tasting session while wearing a blindfold, teaching her to dance, etc. All of this could have the effect of increasing romantic attraction.