Unless you’re a “Game of Thrones” fan, the phrase “winter is coming” is never exciting.
It’s not even December yet and already, weather forecasters are predicting large amounts of snow this winter. Isn’t it bad enough people try to rush into Christmas before Halloween has ended? Now winter wants to take away our last few weeks of fall and make everything horrible again. (In case you couldn’t tell, I’m not the biggest fan of snow.)
Yeah, the fluffy white stuff might have been fun to play around in as a kid, but like everything else, adulthood has ruined snow, too. When you’re a grownup, snow just means endless shoveling, dangerous driving, and lots of cursing. If you’re pro-snow, here are a few reminders that this powdery nightmare is the damn worst.
1. Nobody do anything stupid. First responders won’t be on their way.
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2. I can’t say I’ve ever dreamed of living in an igloo.
3. One more step and that would have ended horribly.
Almost taken by avalanche
4. I can’t even fathom getting caught up in this ginormous avalanche.
5. When you have to leave for work two hours early because the buses aren’t running.
6. It’s fine. They probably don’t need groceries ever again.
7. Look at that wonderful scenic view…not.
8. Looks like these workers aren’t enjoying a snow day.
9. Perhaps that wasn’t the greatest place to park your tow truck.
10. How did this guy manage to survive this?
11. Hey, lady? I don’t think you’re driving anywhere today.
12. Congratulations, you’ve had your Rocky moment. Now good luck getting down from there.
13. If plows can’t do their job, how do you expect me to?
14. This looks like a cute childhood photo until you realize that this little one is sledding on the roof.
15. No that’s not an explosion you’re watching. That’s a nature-made mess.
16. A lot of good that’s going to do from in here.
17. See? This stuff is making people bleed!
18. When you have to pull out the tape measure to see how much snow you’ve gotten, it’s already gone too far.
19. I feel like this isn’t safe.
20. Was it the man’s lack of balance or the snow’s fault for this epic snowboarding fail?
21. And let’s not forget that snow leads to this garbage.
22. One wrong step left this man buried alive because snow is the root of all evil.
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So to prepare for this year’s first snowstorm, I’m choosing to remain inside until winter is over. Someone pass me the cocoa.